Parent and Child – a relationship of extremes and the toughest role we’ve ever loved!

Allow me to burst the bubble mums and dads – parenting is without a doubt, the toughest role we will ever love! The parent-child relationship is unique and one of the extremes.

The needs, interests and expectations of a parent couldn’t be more different from the ones of our children.

Smaller kids for example mostly connect through play while adults prefer to connect through engaging conversations.

If you think of it, even the time zones are different. Adults often delve in the past and look to the future while children inhabit the present. No wonder they see every flower on the sidewalk and the smallest bird in the sky.

As they mature, I believe it is our responsibility as parents, to raise our children with the “two wings of the eagle” concept in mind.

One wing is called “`authenticity”, where the child gets the space to be who they are, to be seen, heard and know that they matter. The other wing, “containment”, is where we teach our children the importance to respect others and that there are certain rules to follow in order to keep them safe in this world.

Our deep love and compassion for our children help us build a connection to start with for sure. However, a good relationship with our child requires our conscious presence, interest, patience, empathy, respect and a lot of sanity.

How often do we slip into correcting our children to fit our expectation, while we forget that the relationship is primary and that correction alone can not strengthen connection?

Many parents I work with are realizing that the traditional parent-to-child dynamic (control-based) often costs them their connection with their children. Oftentimes we have been parented the same way and don’t really know how to move towards a parent-with-child relationship, where mutual understanding and respect can be more important than being in control.

I know it takes a leap of faith to trust the connected approach, it is very possible though. Along with it comes a lot of empowerment – for yourself and your child. My favorite part to observe is whenever parents allow themselves to be raised  alongside their children!